The Vignette That Starts & Ends With a Preposition…


Not too long ago, in early February, my family and I were walking in a cold misty drizzle after taking in a movie one Saturday evening. We were all in a high spirits and joking around. My two boys, my significant other and myself were walking on Fulton Street in Brooklyn and moving quickly because we were getting spit upon by Mother Nature.

We were a bit spread out with my significant other ahead of us, my younger boy next to me and my older child a bit behind all of us. I was walking shoulders drawn and head focused ahead of myself (in my usual tunnel-vision) and wishing for the warmth that was home.

I felt a light tap and my significant other said, “Look at them cheeks…” and pointed off to my left. All I saw was a wide pecan colored derriere upended and completely bare facing all of us. My older child ran screeching. He screamed, “My eyes! My eyes!”

My younger one slapped his hand over his eyes and groaned, “I’m traumatized for life!”

And my significant other? He was cackling like a crazed old man fishing for his dentures in his evening libation…

Me?? I was floored. I have seen a lot of things in and around NYC, but this one? This took the cake. There’s nothing like seeing a wide, homeless, pecan-colored tushie dewy wet on a cold night! (Did I mention the cellulite??)

So ends my short vignette and first foray into the weirder side of Life. As I was telling my younger boy that I was going to create a ‘writerly’ title for this little slice of our life he just stopped and looked at me. He said, “Why don’t you just call it the Butt Story?”

Out of the mouths of babes…(you can’t make this stuff up).

Note: The image is a Wordle applet created by using all the words I could think of that are synonymous with, ahem, one’s bottom. Click here to create your own Wordle.

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